The Party in the Back of Your Mind

A lot of the time, our swirling, anxious, stressful thoughts feel like they're throwing a party "in the back of our minds." It's a constant hum of what-ifs, worries and whys. Music too loud, too many guests, nobody leaving.

At the ACBS World Conference in Lyon, I discovered that what I thought was a scar may still be a wound. Here's what self-disclosure, embodied learning, and a few brave conversations can bring, plus what it meant to give my first presentation outside the States and share it with my husband and kids.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with setting goals or intentions. The problem arises when we don’t follow through on them and then shame-spiral into an abyss of self-deprecating waste. Like cardboard left out on a rainy night, we feel heavy—laden with broken promises to ourselves and unmet expectations. Feeling like a failure is no way to start the new year.

With a few minor shifts, we can reframe our setbacks as lessons and keep moving toward our values.

I feel so put together. It’s magical.

I often forget my phone and have to go back into the house to find it. I often lose my wallet, too — most recently, I discovered it on the floor between my desk and the wall.

In today’s busy world, prioritizing your health and wellness can feel impossible—especially if you’re juggling work, family, and relationships. In my recent interview with C.J. Quartlbaum on the Tell Me More podcast, I share practical strategies for thriving personally, as a parent, and in relationships.

I don’t care if you’re not at your goal weight — just buy the bigger size. Sure, it’s not cost-effective to replace clothes because you’ve outgrown your wardrobe, but that’s why seasons exist. OK, maybe seasons exist for other reasons, but that’s my reason for accepting seasons.

Before leaving for college, my mom gave me a copy of Chicken Soup for the College Soul. Opening the paperback cover and reading story after story about fearless students coming of age inspired me to celebrate my transition into the uncertainties of adulthood. At that time, I was merely a reader, not yet a writer. The only person who had ever praised my writing was my 7th-grade teacher, Ms. Valenzuela at Lincoln Middle School. Her warm eyes peeked through her 90s bangs as she said, “I cried reading your ‘Who Am I’ project. It was beautifully written.” Those words stayed with me.

When CJ invited me onto his Tell Me More podcast, I knew it would be special. What unfolded was a wide-ranging conversation about parenting, intimacy, wellness, and the importance of connection. It felt less like an interview and more like two old friends catching up—raw, authentic, and full of insights.

My early therapy experiences left me cynical and disillusioned. But years later, ACT therapy transformed my marriage and reignited my faith in the power of therapy.

Advocacy nearly broke me. In stepping away, I found healing through storytelling—and a new way to serve that honors both my heart and my health.

Attending the third and fourth days of this year’s conference deepened my understanding of how Contextual Behavioral Science (CBS), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and related approaches can address complex mental health challenges – and even transform the way we work with ourselves, our clients, and our communities. From cutting-edge research on anorexia nervosa to experiential workshops on therapeutic “punishment,” psychological flexibility, neurodivergence, and stigma reduction, I left feeling inspired, stretched, and more committed than ever to integrating these approaches into my own practice.

Here’s Day 2 in all it's glory. We explored the noticing self, inclusivity, music in ACT, addiction, and human cooperation and connection.

✨ Reflections from ACBS WorldCon 2025 ✨
I had the honor of attending the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science World Conference in New Orleans, and I’m still buzzing with gratitude and inspiration. Here are the biggest takeaways from each of the incredible sessions I attended:

I’m so honored my story is included in @chickensoupsoul: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish 🩷 Available TODAY, June 24 wherever books are sold. Flip to the first page… and tell me what you think!! Follow @willowofwellnesscoaching and please share!

When we think of healthy habits, we often focus on eating right and exercising. But what if I told you that wearing a cute outfit might be just as important for your overall well-being? I know—it sounds like a stretch. But hear me out.

From birth, we need a caregiver in order to survive — unlike baby sea turtles, who hatch and then miraculously crawl right into the ocean all on their own. If that caregiver happens to be stable and loving, we may have the privilege of developing a secure attachment style. But studies show that about 50% of children develop a different attachment style: anxious, avoidant, or disorganized.

What does all this have to do with loving ourselves?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

I can honestly say that I look good. But my mental health suffered during this time. I had yet to discover the power of psychiatric medication.

Festive social anxiety is simply social anxiety during the holiday season. It’s social anxiety with tinsel drapped over it.